Post Ultra Marathon Depression

I have a serious case of the post ultra marathon blues.

It is more common than you’d think. If you google “Post Ultra Marathon Depression,” you’ll see all sorts of results, mostly anecdotes from runners. For me, it is something I’ve come to expect to feel after an ultra marathon. It impacts me probably more than most, and I am finding it certainly more noticeable after the Cowboy 200 miler (RACE RECAP HERE) than I typically do after a 100 miler.

From most of what I read about the phenomenon of the post marathon blues, it is rather normal to hit a bit of an emotional low after such an emotional high. Then, there is the typical period of a physical recovery, in which runners are less active than normal, which can lead to a bit of a situational depression, especially when you add on top of it that something that was such a huge goal for so long is now in the past, and new goals have yet to be set.

For me, I am patricianly prone to it. Depression, though not something that impacts me in life now, did a good bit when I was younger. I am genetically predisposed to it. Then, as I talked about in my blog post, “Shaking and Alone: My Life with Tourette Syndrome,” I necessarily live a rather solitary existence, and even more so after my ultras. The stress, in all forms, of them, along with going multiple days being around so many people (or within the proximity of being around so many people, as it were, being that I did spend several hours in a row on the Cowboy Trail without seeing other people), for me turned into a full week of “being on.”

For a short little summary for those that won’t read the post linked in the paragraph before, essentially, with having Tourette Syndrome, to live a “normal” life, when around people, I am always “on.” Meaning, always actively conscious and aware of all my physical and verbal movements, and always doing all I can to limit any “tics.” I am rare in this way, or blessed, as 99% of people with Tourettes, no matter their desire or effort to, can limit or change their tics in any way. I’ve always had somewhat of an ability to have some sort of guard, for short periods of time, against most of my tics, or at the least, to lessen the severity of them. This guard is almost never let down, almost never is it let down amongst friends, and typically not even around family, though most close friends and all of my family have seen times when I do shake, have tics, and make a fair amount of random sounds (all be they always very quotes sounds), like throat clearing sounds or saying the time of day (though never actually the correct time of day lol). So, spending several days around people, or running 200 miles, means 200 miles of “being on,” which is extra draining. I did actually find myself more on, more effectively avoiding any tics over the several days of the Cowboy 200, and the day or two before and after when around people, than I have with any of my 100s. But again, that drained me even more.

After most 100 milers, I never really have any type of celebration outside of the bit of celebration that may happen at a finish line, and a celebratory social media post. My biggest celebration is probably enjoying some of my favorite food. I will typically not interact much in person or be around other people for a good week or two post ultra marathon. Though, usually after a week or so, I’ll set another goal, I’ll start to get active again, and the little bit of seasonal post ultra depression passes.

For this 200 miler, the post race depression is certainly a bit stronger. My celebration was interacting with all of you on social media, which I am very grateful for. I do have a bit of a foot injury, which has kept me from being all that mobile. And I’ve found myself excessively tired and needing a good amount of rest. Essentially, it is my typically post 100 mile depression, times 2 (as I write that…I am like…well yes dummy, that should be expected, the race was twice as long).

It has been over a week since I have finished the Cowboy 200. I am back into my normal work groove, though I find myself working mostly reclined in my desk chair, lights off, staying in my little home office for 12+ hours. I’ve not been around anyone, and have no plans to anytime soon. I will get back to some weights, but I won’t be walking much, and certainly not running for at least a few weeks. I have no other races on my schedule to look forward to, though I am contemplating the Tunnel Hill 100 or Daytona 100. It is just a generally down time for me right now.

This is not a woe is me type of thing. I fully expected to go through this after the race, and have no doubt that in a week or two I’ll be more upbeat. But for now, I am having myself a case of the post ultra marathon blues.

Bartender, pass the pizza.

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Coping with Post Ultra Marathon Blues

For those struggling from a bit of seasonal depression after an ultra marathon, I thought I would add a bit more here that might be able to help you as you journey through the struggle.

First, a big part of me sharing what I did above is to let you know that you aren’t alone.

Next, while being around people is not really an option for me, for most, surrounding yourself with other people, being intentional about spending time with others in the weeks after your ultra, will likely really help you. If nothing else, it gets you out and moving around a bit.

Then, setting some new goals can really help. Now, don’t be laying in bed the day after an ultra marathon scrolling URUltra or UltraSignup looking for a race. Give it a bit of time. But, as soon as you’re sure you’re not injured from your race, and you’re clear headed, get something new on the calendar to look forwards to.

Most importantly, find ways to celebrate your accomplishment. I admit, I am awful at this. But, I understand the physiological importance. Have a fun night out with some friends telling stories of your race and kicking back some adult beverages. Have a dinner with family to celebrate. Or, maybe at the very least hop on a Zoom with some of the new friends you made at your ultra and share some stories from the race. Take time to dwell in the joy of your accomplishment.

Lastly, give yourself permission to be down for a few days. Once I was having a really bad day, and I found myself sharing about it with an old church friend, and I said how I was “fighting against feeling like it’s a bad day.” He said to me, “who told you that you don’t have permission to have a bad day, or a few bad days?” That hit me hard. Sometimes, we will have bad days, and, being an ultra runner, you should know all about “embracing the suck.” You know how to struggle through. It is okay to have a bit of a case of the blues, and you don’t have to pretend like it is all rainbows and butterflies. If all the things I mentioned above don’t do the trick, and like me you find yourself still with the case of the post marathon blues, you will get through it. You’re an ultra runner, you’re good at making it through hard times!