Every Goodbye is the Last Goodbye: Visiting my Mother in Hospice.

Every goodbye is the last goodbye

Goodbyes are the toughest part of visiting my mom.  She suffers from Vascular Dementia (which is similar to Alzheimer’s) and has been in hospice for several months.  I have been spending most of my time out of town to visit her, feeding her lunch and dinner.  It usually takes 45-60 minutes to feed her half of what is on her plate.   We spend most of the time between bites of food smiling, laughing, and dancing in our chairs.  Though she does not usually fully know who I am, we have a good time together.

When it is time to end the visit and leave, I am always well aware that it could be the last goodbye, and I treat it as such.  Most often, she has this look in her eyes as she says goodbye as if she too knows it could be the last goodbye. In each goodbye, I tell her I love her, and I whisper to her that she’s a very good mom. She always gets a tear in her eye when I tell her that. Every time, that compliment seems to be comprehended and tugs at her emotion. That was my moms job, her life purpose… to be a good mom. Job well done mom, job well done.

Treat every goodbye as a last goodbye. Don’t let shared loved go unspoken.

 

 

–  K.P. Kelly

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