Joy Is Still an Option

I have always laughed a little at the word “haters.”

Most people do not actually have haters. Sometimes someone disagreed with you. Sometimes you got feedback you did not like. Sometimes another human being simply failed to recognize your obvious magnificence.

It is not hate.

But “hate” is the word everybody uses, so let’s borrow it.

There seems to be an ever-growing number of people online who cannot wait for the next approved thing to hate.

A person. A politician. A company. A celebrity. A movement. A group.

The signal goes up and suddenly the same small, loud group starts posting the same things, repeating the same lines, feeding each other the same outrage.

And because you keep seeing it, it can start to feel like everybody agrees with you.

They do not.

Sometimes you are just standing inside a very noisy little room.

Politics makes this especially easy to see.

If I scroll through someone’s Facebook page or Instagram and half of it is just negative content about Trump, Biden, Republicans, Democrats, or whatever group has been assigned the role of villain, I never think I am looking at someone trying to “keep people informed.”

I am looking at a hobby. 

I am looking at am unhealthy redirect of something stirring inside someone.

And it seems exhausting.

There is something socially satisfying to some about a group pointing at the same thing and saying, “Yep, we hate that too.”

You get the likes.

You get the comments.

You get the little digital nods from the tribe.

Then tomorrow everyone needs another villain.

And somewhere in there, people start convincing themselves they are doing important work.

Share that Instagram story, hero.

Post the screenshot.

Add the angry caption.

You may think you are advancing a cause or alerting the public to something they desperately needed to know.

A lot of people scrolling by may simply see somebody who seems angry all the time.

What fascinates me is that I do not think many people recognize when this becomes a pattern.

They would probably describe themselves as passionate, informed, concerned, or engaged.

Maybe.

But if most of what you broadcast to the world is everything you dislike, eventually your presence starts looking less like information and more like a museum dedicated to your irritation.

And the loud little group agreeing with you does not necessarily mean you represent some enormous silent majority.

Sometimes it just means five angry people found each other.

There is another way to move through the world.

Share what you enjoy.

Celebrate people doing something well.

Tell someone they did a good job.

Laugh at something stupid.

Call a friend.

Notice the sunset.

Be grateful for the person who showed up.

Talk about what you are learning.

Talk about what gives you hope.

Give people some evidence that you actually enjoy being alive.

None of that requires pretending everything is wonderful.

Life is difficult enough without manufacturing additional reasons to be miserable.

Be more joyful.

Notice what is good.

Laugh more. Encourage people. Celebrate someone else. Be grateful for what is working.

There is already enough anger in the world.

You do not have to add to it.

You can be the person who brings a little more light into the room.